Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Secret 6: Conquering Saboteurs

I have so many personal saboteurs, there is an arm marching around in my head. Currently the voices are not clear so it is difficult for me to name them. But when a messages comes across clearly I will know to stop, deside if it is true or not, and move on. I have very tricky gremlins! They have to be to keep up with me.

I have been told recently that I need to be dealing with emotional stuff. In other words, its time to heal old wounds. This is a slow process for me and not one I am looking forward to, at least for the moment. I am currently reading Loving What is, to help.

I am currently stuck on "I can't be successful and creative". Not sure where this came from. Do I believe this? I want to say no, but reality says yes. I feel like I need to redefine my definition of success and creative. Definition under review!

So this is where I am. Deep in the discovering of old wounds and healing. Dealing with the unfelt feelings and discovering the messages that lie within.

Secret 5: Committing to Self Focus

The beginning of this chapter talks of the messages we picked up as children. But don't we all in some way have issues with our first family? We deal with them as they show up, but like an onion there are many layers.

My mother has designated herself the person who keeps our family together. I have never seen her do anything for her. I don't know what her interests are and I don't think she knows either.

In disabiling distractions, it talks about whether we sabotage ourselves. And the answer is yes, still investigating how, but I do know the answer lies within me. The same steps apply. Get off my back and out of my way.

If we think back, we are never really alone. To live our lives it takes a team to help us along. The people in our lives help us in many different ways and we turn to them for help. Finding the people in our lives to help us discovering our creative side can be difficult. That is why I have turned to you.
Thank you!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Secret 4: Surrendering to Creative Cycles

Truth be told, I have been delaying reading the book as I was feeling like I just did not measure up with the others involved in this process. But things have happened, my perspective has changed and as this chapter will tell you, it is what I needed all along.

Within this chapter I wrote out pieces of info that I needed to remember such as for 'Surviving Skills in the Void' I wrote, "be willing to let go","staying in the dark long enough", "nurturing your visions and dreams", "following the clues as they present themselves", "remaining true to yourself", "having the belief that something will appear". Right now I feel like I am drowning in the void and these are the steps I need to follow to find my way out. Mainly, getting off my back and going with the flow. Its a lesson I seem to not get easily, but keeps coming back.

It also talks about staying in situations that compromises our self worth but also our creative ability. I left a bad situation in November and it's affects are still lingering. It's time I do some emotional decluttering of my own. (I help my clients with this both physically and emotionally).

When it comes to dealing with the void, I do not deal well. I feel stuck most of the time right now and feel like I don't know how to get myself out, I would not know where to start. But if I think back I have seen the creative cycles, my career to date is a testiment to that. I have changed my career path from Accounting to Interior Design, to Inventory Control and then back to Interior Decorating and Life Coaching. My creative bug hits and I take courses that fill the need, and then it wavers and I go back to my logical side and do something else. I am always clashing between the creative side and my logical/analytical side. I am now looking for a way to merge them together, in whatever form that may take.

Words I need to listen to are "When things aren't working, we need to pay attention to the underlying message we may be missing". And "surrending to our challenges instead of denying them or struggling with them spells victory for our creative transforming self." I am in this process as we speak, I would welcome any suggestions on how to move forward within it.

The last part of this chapter talks of fueling our cycles. Right now I can't answer this question. I am trying different things that interest me, being creative when the moment hits and going from there. I do like the idea of making a list of everything that attracts you to it and why. Something I will start.