Monday, March 2, 2009

Secret 8: Selecting Empowering Partnerships and Alliances

To date I have never had any partnerships or alliances although as I am writing this I am changing the context and coming up with a different answer.

In my past I have always worked in corporate america and my father always told me 'to hire a good boss'. I have since discovered it is not possible. But if I adapt this chapter to apply of my past I have had partnerships and alliances with my previous bosses. And most have not been good. So far I have discovered I give my power away in these situations which always ends bad.

Now I focus on relationships that enrich both sides, and don't have any second questioning involved. Although this seems to be a hard lesson for me to learn as I removed myself out of a bad situation this past October 08. I had to be talked into the offer and grieved what I was perceiving as lossing. All seemed fine on the surface but underneath were hidden issues either of us expected. When it finally came to blows the issues had piled up so high that I couldn't tell you what happened, I just didn't know. Now looking back I didn't get what I was doing and could not communicate what I needed effectively. I was resenting my bosses attitude and diva ways, not feeling part of a team and when the time came I was thrown under the bus. It has been a hard lesson and I am still looking for the grace of it. Any Suggestions?

I am going to set aside the collaboration profile used in the book and apply it situations arise.

Secret 7: Consulting with Guides

From what I can remember both of my parents were never very create. I don't remember either of them having any hobbies of any sort. My father was always the most supportive, he use to say it was because I could do what he couldn't.

The only I remember being forced to take was piano lessons, and how I hated them. Although years later I learned to play the viola and the sax by my own decision. I can remember always drawing or colouring while I was watching television, I was always doing more than one thing.

The influential people in my life have always seemed to guide me in different directions, whether that was there intent or mine, I am not sure. I can remember a swimming instructor who said I swam like a dolphin, and so to this day I have a fasination with dolphins and collect everyone I can find inlcuding tatoos and jewellery.

I can remember a teacher telling me she never wanted to see me anorexic, so I ensured that would never happen and gained weight over and over. To the point I cannot remember a time when I wasn't on a diet and I have since joined weight watchers, reaching my goal and now work for the company helping others.

I can remember people telling me, they would never worry about me, because I have a good head on my shoulders, or I would go far. All encouraging words but they forget to give me the directions that went with them.

As I grow older I am more focused on searching for guides in specific areas, and am very careful to stay away from those who do not believe.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Secret 6: Conquering Saboteurs

I have so many personal saboteurs, there is an arm marching around in my head. Currently the voices are not clear so it is difficult for me to name them. But when a messages comes across clearly I will know to stop, deside if it is true or not, and move on. I have very tricky gremlins! They have to be to keep up with me.

I have been told recently that I need to be dealing with emotional stuff. In other words, its time to heal old wounds. This is a slow process for me and not one I am looking forward to, at least for the moment. I am currently reading Loving What is, to help.

I am currently stuck on "I can't be successful and creative". Not sure where this came from. Do I believe this? I want to say no, but reality says yes. I feel like I need to redefine my definition of success and creative. Definition under review!

So this is where I am. Deep in the discovering of old wounds and healing. Dealing with the unfelt feelings and discovering the messages that lie within.

Secret 5: Committing to Self Focus

The beginning of this chapter talks of the messages we picked up as children. But don't we all in some way have issues with our first family? We deal with them as they show up, but like an onion there are many layers.

My mother has designated herself the person who keeps our family together. I have never seen her do anything for her. I don't know what her interests are and I don't think she knows either.

In disabiling distractions, it talks about whether we sabotage ourselves. And the answer is yes, still investigating how, but I do know the answer lies within me. The same steps apply. Get off my back and out of my way.

If we think back, we are never really alone. To live our lives it takes a team to help us along. The people in our lives help us in many different ways and we turn to them for help. Finding the people in our lives to help us discovering our creative side can be difficult. That is why I have turned to you.
Thank you!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Secret 4: Surrendering to Creative Cycles

Truth be told, I have been delaying reading the book as I was feeling like I just did not measure up with the others involved in this process. But things have happened, my perspective has changed and as this chapter will tell you, it is what I needed all along.

Within this chapter I wrote out pieces of info that I needed to remember such as for 'Surviving Skills in the Void' I wrote, "be willing to let go","staying in the dark long enough", "nurturing your visions and dreams", "following the clues as they present themselves", "remaining true to yourself", "having the belief that something will appear". Right now I feel like I am drowning in the void and these are the steps I need to follow to find my way out. Mainly, getting off my back and going with the flow. Its a lesson I seem to not get easily, but keeps coming back.

It also talks about staying in situations that compromises our self worth but also our creative ability. I left a bad situation in November and it's affects are still lingering. It's time I do some emotional decluttering of my own. (I help my clients with this both physically and emotionally).

When it comes to dealing with the void, I do not deal well. I feel stuck most of the time right now and feel like I don't know how to get myself out, I would not know where to start. But if I think back I have seen the creative cycles, my career to date is a testiment to that. I have changed my career path from Accounting to Interior Design, to Inventory Control and then back to Interior Decorating and Life Coaching. My creative bug hits and I take courses that fill the need, and then it wavers and I go back to my logical side and do something else. I am always clashing between the creative side and my logical/analytical side. I am now looking for a way to merge them together, in whatever form that may take.

Words I need to listen to are "When things aren't working, we need to pay attention to the underlying message we may be missing". And "surrending to our challenges instead of denying them or struggling with them spells victory for our creative transforming self." I am in this process as we speak, I would welcome any suggestions on how to move forward within it.

The last part of this chapter talks of fueling our cycles. Right now I can't answer this question. I am trying different things that interest me, being creative when the moment hits and going from there. I do like the idea of making a list of everything that attracts you to it and why. Something I will start.

Monday, January 26, 2009

3rd Secret: Following Your Fascinations

Before I started this weeks blog post I went back and read all the previous comments you have written to me. I first want to say thank you for your thoughts and ideas. I cannot tell you how much they mean to me. Namaste!

In this weeks chapter we are challenged to take risks, review our past risks and define what we need to move forward. I would call myself a planned risk taker as I only make moves I can predict which by definition is not a real risk.

The risks I have made in my career seem small now compared to the risk I made to change where I live. In my previous careers it was calculated, there was a measure of risk but I still had control. But when my husband and I quit our jobs, sold our home and moved to the country with no jobs to go to, that was a risk. I am still deciding if it has paid off.

Maybe because all my previous risks have been calculated, I don't really know what risks are. How to decide one worth taking versus not. I feel like I have risked my comfort and my security, and still waiting for the pay off. Or is that my problem?

I would not call myself in touch with myself right now. But at least I listened this week. On Friday I decided I was going to do something 'crafty'. I had a project I had been wanting to do for some time but could never find the time. I made the time. And I lost myself in it. Giving myself permission to create was key, I need to do that more often. As usual I need to get off my back and just be.

The limited thinking that holds me back is not about looking foolish but thinking I should be doing something productive. Whatever that means. There is a quote of the movie Bed of Roses that is screaming in my head "contributing to the Gross National Product". I feel like if I am not producing to increase the bottom line (for who I don't know) than my time is wasted. Not sure where I picked this one up but any suggestions on new perspectives would be appreciated.

Monday, January 19, 2009

2nd Secret to Highly Creative Women

In our search thur The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women by Gail mcMeekin we are focusing this week on the 2nd secret "Honoring Your Inspirations".

I am actually finding this process more difficult than expected. I guess it is showing me just how out of touch I am with my creative side. My homework this week is to listen. The chapter talks about discovering what inspires us and creating structures to faciliate it. Such as building a sanctuary. My home and where I live is my sanctuary every window I look out I see nature and it inspires me. After a fresh snow fall there is nothing more peaceful than watching the winter wonderland around me. It always reminds me of The Chronicles of Narnia.

Questions for defining our creative style:
1. When did your creative awakening or reawakening occur? I believe it is in process. I am appreciating everything around me so much more.

2. what Talents do you have, naturally? I see colour and colour combinations that are representative of my clients. I am a problem solver and a good listener.

3. Which elements draw you toward them? I am attracted to all elements depending on my mood and pace that that time. But I am most drawn to water (live on lake) and wood. I have a deep connection to the Gaint Sequoias.

4. where and when do you create? whenever and where ever it hits me. I have no one spot.

5. what activates your creative energy, and what drains it? Being in nature fuels me and being around people who focus on the 'drama' drains me. I love to read and lose myself in the story.

6. do you use creative rituals? I currently don't have any, but maybe I could use some, any ideas?

7. does nature influence your creativity? YES. I can lose myself in the details of the trees, the waves on the water, the sound of the birds, no birds or the wind.

8. what has been your greatest creative hurdle so far? Rediscovering who I am during shift in my life and where I thought I was going.

9. What time of day are you most receptive to inspirations? If I am writing first thing in the morning for any other projects, when it hits.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

The First Secret of Highly Creative Women

Today is the start of a book blogging group that I’ve signed up for, hosted by the sparkling Jamie Ridler. The book we’ll all be reading and writing about in the next 12 weeks is 'The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women by Gail McMeekin. Each week we will be diving deeper into the words on the page. This week focusing on acknowledging our creative selves.

I guess I have always been creative but I have never thought so. Growing up I could always be found drawing in front of the TV or playing the instrument I was learning. In those years I learned to play the piano, Saxophone and viola. I have only recently started acknowledging how important my creative side really is.

I can really relate to 'competing in the corporate world' and 'an imbalance of masculine and femine energies'. Through out my corporate life I had to push myself into the 'boys clubs'. I was always the only woman surrounded by men doing a job that was traditionally done by men. So the consent need to prove myself was ever present.

I saw I was being treated differently and my male counterparts were getting away with everything leaving me to pick up the slack. which only made me want to fight harder and change the system!

Having spent a number of years in the rat race and having to always push and fight my way through. I got tired of fighting. My husband and I packed up our stuff and moved to the country. Not knowing what we were moving too.

We would spend time every summer at our cottage by the lake and I would feel refreshed and the creative ideas would flow once I was outside city limits.

Having changed my career path 6 times to date I use to think of myself as a failure but someone suggested my changes were due to my being creative. My new label stuck!